These are the days

I wake up to the sunshine in my window and the passing sound of a homeless man
Singing an old Cole Porter song
The faucet leaks, the TV's on the blink again, but my restless dreams are still intact
Even though it's taking way too long
I've got a hundred dollars in a Coke tin on my shelf, and I've been thinking to myself:
These are the days you will remember for the rest of your life
These are the memories you'll pack in a box and pull out sometimes
So pick your flowers, count the seconds, roll the dice
But don't wait until it's too late to put a smile on your face
'Cause these are the days...

I thought of the lyrics to that song the other day, and I had to smile. Especially at the "roll the dice" line. When Becky and I sit up having our deep discussions about life, love, politics, and religion, we're usually playing Yahtzee while we're doing it.

Freedom has done me a world of good. I am really, truly on my own now, for the first time in my life, and I LOVE it. Of course, it's not all ideal. I have to fret over every penny, and I don't get out much because I'm constantly either working or broke. But that's okay. I keep telling myself I'm building character.

I've always loved hearing my mom's stories about when she decided to stay and build her life here, while her military family moved on to their next post. She and her roommate lived in a tiny little one-bedroom apartment, taking turns sleeping on the couch in the living room. They went to dances on the Naval base, and just did all kinds of fun stuff. I always thought it sounded like SO MUCH FUN! Now, forty-something years later, if you substitute the military dances for karaoke at Windjammers, that's my life.

Now, anyone who knows me knows that my dream in life is to be a wife and mother. You also know that it's a constant struggle for me to be patient with a timing more perfect than my own. And I feel awkward being alone in a sea of happy couples. But I am seeing now that this is a crucial part of my life! I'm learning more about myself right now than I ever have. I am growing spiritually and emotionally (and thankfully, shrinking physically!!) I am basking in my independence right now. There is no one to tell me what needs to be done, or how to get it done. I just have to do it. It's sink or swim. And, thank God, much to my own surprise and delight, I'm becoming a pretty fair swimmer!

There are some nights when I know the sensible thing for me to do is to turn in early. After all, I work two jobs, and I almost always have laundry or some mundane task to do. But when Roomiekins begs for just one more game of Yahtzee!; oh, heck, why not? Because after all, these are the days.

So roll the dice...