Giving up. In a nutshell, that's what depression is.

My life is one long struggle for joy. I don't even realize that I'm struggling until I find myself weary to my very core from the constant fight. I get tired of trying to cope with the everyday inconveniences that life throws at me. And I just STOP coping. I slow down and allow the shadow of sorrow that follows me to envelop me in its darkness. And then I can't seem to find my way out of it.

In my Bible reading plan, I'm reading through the Psalms every Wednesday morning. I think just about everyone looks to the Psalms for comfort in their times of weakness and distress. For me in particular, I find encouragement in its passages because David was, without a doubt, someone that would be diagnosed as "severely depressed" by today's standards. Yet still he praised God through his darkest hours. Much like Job; however I find myself relating more to David because his sorrow was not simply based on tragedies that befell him; he was just a sad man. Yet he says:

You have said, “Seek my face.” My heart says to you,“Your face, Lord, do I seek."

And:

The Lord is the strength of his people; he is the saving refuge of his anointed. Oh, save your people and bless your heritage! Be their shepherd and carry them forever.

Lord, I pray to be like David. To allow you to be my saving refuge. To trust in you and you alone to shepherd me in my tearful, fearful, weak days. To seek your face. And to find peace through your word, and your promises, and your presence.

Lord, let it be so. Amen.